This Pen

Why I Write, Still

A brave man I must be. Far greater works on the subject of the gospel have been and will be even after mine is completed. On my shelf sits books from today’s greatest theologians like John MacArthur, R.C. Sproul, John Piper, Albert Mohler. Even the ancient writings by Luther, Augustine, Edwards and Calvin. The works of the greats stare down at me as I study. They observe me as I write. They judge me as I pray aloud. If I was ever in the same room with any of these men, I would say nothing. It would profit all for me to only speak when spoken to.

Need I go further to state the obvious that I would most likely not be spoken to, except to fetch some water, or to refill a pen, or to prepare a meal. For in the courts of these blessed men, I am nothing more than a subservient. I am not one deserving attention or even one who has earned an ear. I have not studied like these men. I have no letters besides my name indicating a level of intelligence. I haven’t earned a reputation that is worth mentioning. I haven’t even committed any significant works or experienced any heroic feats. I have not been the forerunner of any revival or led any mission.

In many ways and for many reasons, I am not equipped to write any book – much less a biblical exposition. My communication skills lack in many respects, My intellect trumps only that of a child. Yes, there is no one less qualified and less worthy to communicate the truths that our Lord has so wonderfully made available in His Word.

Still … I pick up a pen and humbly express.

Maybe it is not bravery. Maybe it is pride that drives me. I have a deep motivation to communicate to those around me that would not otherwise read the great works that pack my shelves. Maybe, I am just arrogant enough to think that they would read mine instead. Maybe.

Regardless of the reason (for only God knows truly) my prayer is that the Lord illuminate Himself through things that I pen. Whether I am the talking jack ass or the impatient prophet, He is able to accomplish His will. I am not sure of my own heart, but I am sure of that.

Mixed among those many great works on my shelves are several greater books, or should I say, greatest books. For they are the penmanship of God. They are the collections of the greatest writings ever to be written. In fact, these books are the focus and inspiration of all those other great books. These books are the superior ones. They are divine. They are the Word of Christ. And for each of those great books that sit and watch my every move, there is a greater book that judges even my deepest thoughts that no man can know. My friend, the Word of God is sharp enough. In fact, it has already judged me.

By the grace that this book reveals, I am one who stands confidently among those greats on my shelf. I never assume to be one of their stature and genius, but I do realize my small role in this large plan. It may be too small to have any earthly significance, but with an eager heart and privileged conscience, I take up my pen.

If anything, I ask that the Lord grant me some insight as to not embarrass myself so severely that these men doubt I even own their works. And above all, I ask that the Lord of all be pleased and delighted at my effort.

And so I pen.

Posted by Jacob Abshire on June 16th, 2010 - 9:44 am
Categories: Confessions

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